Wednesday, April 25, 2012

If I Ever Do This On Facebook, Call the Authorities!

Hello again, Coffee Talkers!

I want to let you know a couple things -- first, rest assured that just because last night's post and this night's post have to do with Facebook does not mean that all future posts will!

Next, if any of you ever see me do any of these things on Facebook, or anywhere else on the internet, or anywhere else on God's green (or any other land-type or water covered) earth, know that I have a.) been hacked, b.) been kidnapped, or c.) have gone a little crazier than usual and need my internet right taken away immediately. So call the internet authorities if you see any of these things posted under my name:
  1. Me doing a kissy-face pose...
  2. while wearing a very low cut shirt and/or bikini top...
  3. and for some strange reason, feeling the need to squeeze my arms together near my chest region...
  4. and of course, this picture has been taken myself, with my phone, in the bathroom mirror.
  5. Me posting a picture which I have no rights to, but which has obvious emotional appeal...
  6. asking you to 'like' said photo if you agree with whatever sentimental statement I made along with the photo (but which I actually do nothing to support in real life)...
  7. and then telling you to 'subscribe' to me, so I can get you nine million new friend requests!
  8. Me, explaining in a very lengthy status update or note how overloaded my life is with commitments and how I can simply NOT do another thing...
  9. followed by me bombing your newsfeed with all of my progress reports from Farmtown, Castleland, and MyNewAquariumHasMoreLivingFishThanYoursVille.
  10. Me posting anything about any of the Kardashians. For any reason. EVER.
(Now you know that, just because I threw that last one in there, some big news item relating to some Kardashian and the Catholic Church will transpire, and then what am I gonna do??)

You now, I just thought of one exception to the 'kissy-face' photo rule. If you ever see a picture like this posted... might really be from me. What can I say? I'm a sucker for baby chub!

As always, thanks for stopping by, and be assured of my prayers!

Peace and all good,

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