Saturday, March 26, 2011

Dear Jesus, You're FIRED!

Hello, Coffee Talkers!

I just came across a great blog post from Mark Hart, the 'Bible Geek' and Executive Vice President of Life Teen, talking about how to handle challenges when working in Church ministry. I found it to be both hilarious and insightful. Hart begins the blog with this ficticious letter of Jesus' dismissal from the parish staff:

To Whom It May Concern:
In agreement with the clearly delineated Diocesan norms for termination of employment, below are just a handful of the reasons we were forced to fire Jesus of Nazareth from our Parish Staff here at Our Lady of the Emptying Pews:

He was never in the office.

He was constantly leaving work to “go and pray.”

He never turned in a single bulletin announcement.

He invited all the “wrong kinds of people” into the Parish community.

He turned over tables at the annual Parish ministry fair.

He encouraged people without master’s degrees or PhDs to share, preach and teach.

He refused to utilize clip art.

He had his “team” set up for his own farewell dinner.

He gave the Church keys to a fisherman instead of returning them to the front desk.

He formed catechists and executed a parish plan without first forming a committee.

And finally – in a display that demonstrated complete lack of pastoral discretion – he was unwilling to use his special “gifts” to multiply fish and tartar sauce and, thus, prevent the K of C from looking quite foolish at the Lenten Fish Fry.

As anyone can clearly see, Jesus of Nazareth was unwilling to abide by time-honored rules and expectations as set forth by people at the parish who are long-since dead yet whose memories we celebrate with every rule (“sacred cow”) we choose to heed (feed rather than slaughter). 

Joylessly yours in Christ,
Members of the Perish(ing) Staff
And for those of you who could really relate to this post (like me!) because you work or volunteer in your church, check out the rest of the blog post for some insights on how to stay prayerful and handle frustrations in ministry!

Peace and all good,

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